Famously Stupid

I love stupid people. I love stupid people because they give me something to laugh at. If it weren’t for stupid people, I don’t think the world would be the same. What am I saying? Of course the world wouldn’t be the same. We wouldn’t have stupid video clips to download off the ‘net, politicians to roll our eyes at, professional victims to worry about or vapid celebrity wannabes to support. Who might these celebrity wannabes be, and how do we support them you ask? Well, allow me to illustrate.

In the world of gossip, glamour and wannabes I can’t think of a bigger name than Paris Hilton. The blond heiress of the Hilton hotel fortune can’t seem to escape the cameras of the paparazzi, or the cameras of her lovers for that matter. She’s rich, famous, and for all intents and purposes, useless like a screen door on a submarine. Well, let me add to that that she’s either a pure genius or dumb as a bag of hammers.

Name something she’s famous for that didn’t include her taking her clothes off or just “looking pretty”. Good luck with that. You might think of her reality show with Lionel Richie’s daughter, Nicole, but let’s be serious. Watching a show where two wannabe stars go around the country pretending to do work that is usually reserved for us common folk is just insulting. It may, however, be pure genius on her part, if she’s actually responsible for putting it all together, that is. People tune in all the time to find out what mischief the two air bubbles will get themselves into, though I worry about who those people are. It saddens me to think of how many young girls, especially under the age of eighteen, watch her show or anything else involving Paris and think of how glamorous and important she is.

But I still have the question; what has she really done to deserve fame? Getting naked on the ‘net? Hell, I can do that. It wouldn’t be as pretty, but I don’t think she’s that hot anyway. She has modeled here and there, I think, but how many random fashion models could you name off the street? Her last name is pretty famous, but not for the same reason that we usually associate with fame. I mean, Bill Gates is pretty famous, but could you pick out and name his wife and kids? Probably not.

So, what’s really there to attribute her fame to? Nothing. Anyone can be scandalous. Anyone can get naked and strut around town or post pictures of themselves on the internet. Anyone could be lucky enough to be born rich. And that’s why I think Paris, and wannabes like her, are so stupid. Well, that and she probably can’t count higher than the number of piggies she has. Boy, I’ll tell you, every time I see that dumb “what was that?” look on her face, I feel the average IQ of America drop a few points.

Let this be a lesson to you kids; if you’re a dope whose claim to fame is nudity, parties, and being a general all around twit, do us all a favor and get lost on a deserted island. And no, I’m not talking about the deserted island that might be your brain.