Offend Me

Did you know that it's against the law to offend someone? Did you know that action may be taken, legal or otherwise, if you offend someone, especially of a racial or social minority?

Me either.

But it must be true. It must be true because every day I see evidence either around me or in the news/internet/TV/etc. of such a thing happening. Let me give you a really simple example. There's a Dodge commercial showing off one of it's new car models (don't remember the name offhand) where they recently changed the commercial for reasons not explained, but implied. In it, there's a little fairy lady flying around changing things into something else using her "fairy powers." An example is that she changes an office building into a big desert cake, and a subway-type train into a cartoony looking train. She then tries to use her powers on the new Dodge, but her fairy dust just bounces off, eventually reflecting back to her and knocks her against a wall. At that point, a burly looking guy walking his burly looking dog walks by and points to her (the fairy) saying "silly little fairy", at which point she waves her wand at him and turns him into what can best be described as a "preppie." Now, what's the big deal in all this? Well, the guy used to say "silly little fairy", but no longer. Now, he just laughs at her before she changes him. "So what?" you may say.

I recently ran across a few articles about how various individuals (and groups, I presume) were complaining that the burly guy's comment to the fairy could be seen as offensive to homosexuals, since as we all know, they are also referred to as "fairies." Did you just roll your eyes? If you did, I'd like to buy you a drink. Because someone might be offended by the word "fairy" in a commercial that had nothing to do with sexuality, or anything else in particular except fantasy, they actually changed it. I don't know if it's Dodge that I'm wanting to hit with the stupid stick, or the morons who complained about the commercial.

This is just a small example though. Did you see the cartoon pictures of Mohammed that the Muslims were crying about? If you did, you didn't see it on TV because that might have offended someone. Of course, if you do happen to offend them they might behead you, but that's another story. Did you know that many companies are now mandating that their employees no longer greet customers during the holiday season with "merry Christmas" but with "happy holidays" because it may offend non-Christians? Funny that, considering that "holiday" is a retooling of the phrase "holy day" which specifically refers to religion. Which also brings to mind how school prayer, or even a moment of silence, is frowned upon due to non-religious types being offended, despite the fact that I'd bet a million that if a Muslim were in that school and demanded that he'd be able to lay down his rug and pray whenever he's supposed to he'd be given special concessions. And let's not forget that trying to define a married couple as being a man and a woman is offensive to gays and lesbians, because God knows if the entire world was gay we wouldn't go extinct.

Let me tell you what I find offensive, if you really care. If not, well, why the heck are you here? Anyway, I'm offended when I see two men kissing in public, who are not father/son or some other such blood relation. I'm offended that I can't call other races what I want when they can call me honky, whitebread, cracker, etc., and it's perfectly fine. Watch Comedy Central or BET if you need proof of this. I'm offended that millions of U.S. citizens had to spend years and thousands of dollars to legally become citizens, where millions of illegal Mexican immigrants are about to get a free ride on my tax dollars. I'm offended that words like "gay", "fairy", "black", "illegal immigrant", "terrorist", and "tea bag" have been hijacked by groups who decided to redefine what they mean, and then call it offensive if I use them in a sentence. I'm offended that they're offended. I'm offended by pro-choicers, left-wingers, entitlement wanters, God haters, drag queens, "Loose Change" believers, tree huggers, pot smokers, airline hijackers, NAMBLA members, American flag burners, pansy asses and those stupid "Emo" kids. But since I'm white, male, and loosely Catholic, my complaints are of no concern. So while my kids won't be able to pray at a school football game, the local ACLU will have grounds to sue the school if they don't allow a gay pride march during halftime.

I'm no Nazi. I don't hate minorities or people with different lifestyles from mine. In fact, I couldn't care less what they are or what they do. But their being offended by everything that goes against what they want or believe goes against what I want or believe. So who's rights over-ride the other? Shouldn't all of our rights be protected? But more to the point, is there somewhere in the Constitution that says "thou shall be free from being offended?" I think not.

So, to all the offended, shut up and get a life. If you contributed to society as much as you complain about what you don't like about us "mainstreamers" you'd have cured AIDS by now. Oh, yeah, and I find AIDS offensive. So if you got infected by sharing a needle or by screwing around, you offend me and should be banned...to a deserted island...and have it sunk...stupid.

Update: A few nights ago I actually saw an airing of the Dodge car commercial I mentioned at the beginning of the article that was unchanged from it's original version. So, either that particular station didn't care about the change, didn't get the memo that it did change, or it has been realized that it was stupid to change it in the first place. Interesting.